i thought the storm had passed. But it seems to just begin. I wonder when will stuff turns better. Im afraid i'll break down before it comes. It seems so easy yet so hard. The waves seems to be big this time. Someone please guide me. Who will be my angel?

Note: The stuffs below is written from my instinct. A woman's instinct. what i feel. People always say a girl had strong instinct. I wonder if it's true. If it's false, Please ignore everything i wrote. If it's true, congratulation to my instinct, you have grown.

you said it'll only be in maple. But now it seems to invade your msn. All over i saw another girl's name. I am not a retard, it's so obvious. I tried to disregard the maple issue. I've been trying so hard to forget everything, her name and your lovey dovey stuffs with her. Like you told me to do so, to close an eye this time. But why are you being so cruel? To keep repeating and repeating it to me again. I'm trying very very hard to hold on. But We've been together for so long, when is the last time i've ever saw my name appearing in your msn, when is the last time i've seen sweet messages from you, to me. Just when a new girl appear, everything of you changed. Everything seems to evolve within "Timo & May", "May & Timo".

It seems like you don't belong to me anymore. Sometimes i felt i don't feel significant to you anymore. You know what's the most important feeling to a girl? Security from her boyfriend. I do not want to admit this but i dont feel secure now.

You said you only add the admin in your msn. But there seems to be alot of evidences pointing to the fact that she is in your Msn too. why lie. To protect me, dont want to upset me? If she's not in your msn, why bother to change your msn nick so much to be so loving. For me? But i don't know why can't i feel it. I don't know but even in Msn, i see her name. What should i do? Evade msn and maple?

I don't want to force you or anything. Im trying to be understanding that you're having family problems. Im also trying to help you and your family to patch back like in the past, a happy family as much as i can. But can you please try to understand my feelings that i have to go through too? You give me a temper everytime whenever i talk abit about You and May. Why? It upsets me. Can't i ask abit?

You asked me to give you 1 month to settle this from 11 August. By then, Will you be able to end this? Will there be a second time? a third time? whenever your parents quarrel, your sis's problem. Will you turn back to online games as well? I wish you can further re-assure me. I don't know, For this time, maybe God wants me to know about this issue, hence I chanced about this. You can play any amount of servers, make countless of girlfriends, without telling me, i wont know. but dont you feel guilty or bad yourself?

If i had a choice, I rather i do not know anything about these. Why does God wants to punish me like this? When will you be able to treat me as your girlfriend, trust me and rely on me instead of other people? It saddens me that you rather rely on other people than me. Im waiting for a day where you can rely on me again.


*Do note this post is written base on my instinct, what is in my mind at that current time frame. Instinct can be true or untrue so yupps.

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