[PG]Warning : The content below requires parental guidance if you are below 21 .



The bed is shaking .
My head is spining .
Ouchh . AWWWwww ... AHHAhhhhh ...

The pain is penetrating me so much .
This intrigued me .

My body's splitting into two .

Can't help but kept moaning like crazy .
I'm feeling so hot !


 I'm ...


I'm ....


OOooooOOOOoooOOOOoooOOOOOOOoooAAAHhhhhhAHHHHHhhhhhhhhhAAHHHHHHHHhh.... ~



Whatcha thinking? :O



IM FEELING SO DAMN HOT AND HIGH NOW .

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?!



HOT WITH ....

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FEVER!
















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i don't even know if im attached or single now.
Being attached yet doesn't feel like being attached.
My bf doesn't even talk to me now.
I can't even talk to you when i want to share my joy or problems.
Does staying a low profile from your parents means not communicating with me?
Do your parents dislike me so much that it worries you?
Please be brave.


Whenever i talked about us, i felt like you kept evading the topic.
All he needs is just his computer and his "another world".
Sigh.
I asked you when will you be back to normal, you said weeks.
how many weeks? will it be a indefinite number of weeks?
Will we still be celebrating our 26th anniversary this coming 3rd sept?
Will you really be back normal by 12 sept regardless if you have solve the problem or not like you have promised me?
 I just want to ask, do you really think you have chosen the right approach to deal with the situation now?


I don't know but since we promised the 1 month period, for you to leave the online world and improve your family problems, and you said you want to continue our relationship few days ago, i shall wait for 12 sept then.
I trust the tears you shed about how much you love me and how much you want me to stay by your side. Please don't disappoint me. 

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So bored these days hahah . Mainly mapling and chatting in bounce with all my new pals, watching tv, dramas online, anime etc.

Hias, Initially i was so happy that my internship finally ended. Because i can finally spend my entire holiday going out everyday with you. I've looked forward to this for so long. To spend quality time with you before you enter army. But it turns out otherwise. We spend so little time with each other now instead. Sigh. So many things i wanted to do like going to the beach, cycling, movies, walk walk etc. I wanted to visit special places with you. I wonder when you'll be back to normal again. Really hope to spend some time with you before you enter army. Please wake up soon and dump your computer.

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it's friday again hahah . feels so bored now .

why are your family problems making us can't talk? I don't understand . Didn't we talked as usual like last time? So what is wrong now? o_o

Are you afraid that your mom will try to break us up? when she is feeling down and upset now and couldn't think properly? Please, you're already 20 now, going for army soon, not a 15 year old kid. She did that the last time cos you're still so young. She's afraid you may go the wrong path in the past. Actually, hearing you talk about your past like going clubbing, misbehaving, fighting with your father, running away from home to your neighbours' house and stay for a few days? I can really understand why your mom did that. But you've changed now isn't it? Into a proper Man. right? If you are my son, I will do that too. I wouldn't let my son out go clubbing, hugging other girls at such young age. You know, young kids below 18 usually don't think about their future. But you're going into army soon, Big guy.

I think you're more mature now. I don't know if i got tell you about this before, during the start of our relationship, your mom did called me a few times and we talked abit. She was trying to know me. She did warn me about those pre-marital sex blah blah and all. She's worry that we might do the wrong stuff cos im only 17 and you're only 18 then. I did assured her that i wouldn't do that and i think the same way as her too. After 1 month, she didn't call me anymore. Once in a blue moon, she even send some sms to ask how i was doing and a good night message. I believe that she cares for me. I believed that she trusted me enough and here we are, coming so far after 2 years. I doubt she hates me. I'm already 19 and you're 20. Adults. I would love to care for her and get along with her, treating her like my second mom. I don't mind telling her i love her and hug her too.

Even if your mom calls me and say nasty things, i'm telling you in your face that i am not afraid of it. I believe we can make it. I'm strong enough yeah. If she find ways to keep you at home, i can pop by secretly or we can meet up when you're going out or sth. We can talk after she sleeps. So many many many stuffs we can do. Do you understand this? I am not afraid and are you?

I thought your family seems better already. I don't really know what is in your mind now.
It's not that im getting pek cek with you, i only want an answer. When will you be back normal? when will you be back to me? or no? and loads of other stuffs.

I miss you so much yet i can't see you, can't touch you nor even talk to you.

Nevermind, i'll wait till the day when you're ready to call me. Please don't drag on too long already :<

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hahahh went through some photo albums today . seldom posted up our pics before , well here are some best one i think >.> i think these pics are taken 1 month ago , wonder if there will be more in the future though hahah .






The pictures below are taken today before going out hahahh







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hahah tml marks the one week since we last talk. There's alot of things inside me i wana know.

1. Do you still love me?
2. Am i still your wifey?
why you're not calling me that anymore? are you refraining yourself or?
i really felt happy yesterday night when you called me wifey, i thought you're back, but it seems you did it accidentally? ):
3. When will you be calling me again? when will we be talking again?

So how long more will things be back to normal? i really wish to know :(

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it've been a few days since we last spoke. I wonder when will we be speaking again.

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How i wish that i can live with you and hug you to sleep .

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My wishes:
1. I wish that everything will be back normal, like the time we shared together in the past. I felt really happy those times we had back then. I really miss it. It've been quite a long time since we've met up. It seems like we're all stuck in a windwhirl now. It's like a test to all of us. We've g0tta stay strong and withstand this test yeah?

2. I wish that your family can get back together soon.
i know that your parents' nagging and your sister's is making you irritated. Why don't you try another approach? Face everything with a smile and say "i can do it" Please do not give up even on yourself.

3. I wish you can look towards the future with a positive mindset.

4. I wish you can be more cheerful. You are now so glum and grumpy which makes me feel sad.
You know, i don't mind lending you my shoulder to cry on once, cry out loud and let out your frustration.

5. I wish you can open up your heart more, share your problems with me. Humans are not immortal, they need someone to speak to; listen to their problems, hence the definition of one's respective partner. Let me be the ear to your problems.

6. I wish you can learn to relax, learn how to handle problems and not running away from them.

7. I wish you can be truthful to me.

8. I wish that you can solve these problems and not creating more problems. Whenever humans solve a problem, they grow up abit. It's part of the growing up process. When they deal with the problems, they realize what went wrong and gain new knowledge by trying to solve the problem and refrain the problem from surfacing again. Do remember to always think positive. I'll always be there to support you.


you ask me why i did all these? Because i can only say i love you.

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finally my dental appointment is over ! but the next one's on september! 1 more mth hahah! that will be the time whereby i'll meet the braces specialist for consultation. I can't believe i'll actually miss my dentist after yesterday though it was a horrifying experience for me lol. I wonder if my dentist and his nurse had laugh at me for being such a baby in front of them hahah. But i really appreciate them for being so patient and caring. They really know how to "hong" me to ask me relax. hahah. One thing i know for sure is, i may have to go through an operation to remove the hidden tooth in my gum if im going for braces and it's better too even if im not. Im so damn stress and scare now.

During these few rough days, i appreciated some of my friends and classmates who cared about me. I think i've learnt some stuffs too. hahah one of you even tried to teach me something from your over-use bible to cheer me up. We may not be very close friends but you listened to my rantings hahah thanks. I also know for sure that i will not date a online pixel myself. Why waste time on something like pixels? I think it's true. Between a pixel and a real man, who would you date? I need to look positive. You never know who may appear in your life. Cherish is the word.


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i thought the storm had passed. But it seems to just begin. I wonder when will stuff turns better. Im afraid i'll break down before it comes. It seems so easy yet so hard. The waves seems to be big this time. Someone please guide me. Who will be my angel?

Note: The stuffs below is written from my instinct. A woman's instinct. what i feel. People always say a girl had strong instinct. I wonder if it's true. If it's false, Please ignore everything i wrote. If it's true, congratulation to my instinct, you have grown.

you said it'll only be in maple. But now it seems to invade your msn. All over i saw another girl's name. I am not a retard, it's so obvious. I tried to disregard the maple issue. I've been trying so hard to forget everything, her name and your lovey dovey stuffs with her. Like you told me to do so, to close an eye this time. But why are you being so cruel? To keep repeating and repeating it to me again. I'm trying very very hard to hold on. But We've been together for so long, when is the last time i've ever saw my name appearing in your msn, when is the last time i've seen sweet messages from you, to me. Just when a new girl appear, everything of you changed. Everything seems to evolve within "Timo & May", "May & Timo".

It seems like you don't belong to me anymore. Sometimes i felt i don't feel significant to you anymore. You know what's the most important feeling to a girl? Security from her boyfriend. I do not want to admit this but i dont feel secure now.

You said you only add the admin in your msn. But there seems to be alot of evidences pointing to the fact that she is in your Msn too. why lie. To protect me, dont want to upset me? If she's not in your msn, why bother to change your msn nick so much to be so loving. For me? But i don't know why can't i feel it. I don't know but even in Msn, i see her name. What should i do? Evade msn and maple?

I don't want to force you or anything. Im trying to be understanding that you're having family problems. Im also trying to help you and your family to patch back like in the past, a happy family as much as i can. But can you please try to understand my feelings that i have to go through too? You give me a temper everytime whenever i talk abit about You and May. Why? It upsets me. Can't i ask abit?

You asked me to give you 1 month to settle this from 11 August. By then, Will you be able to end this? Will there be a second time? a third time? whenever your parents quarrel, your sis's problem. Will you turn back to online games as well? I wish you can further re-assure me. I don't know, For this time, maybe God wants me to know about this issue, hence I chanced about this. You can play any amount of servers, make countless of girlfriends, without telling me, i wont know. but dont you feel guilty or bad yourself?

If i had a choice, I rather i do not know anything about these. Why does God wants to punish me like this? When will you be able to treat me as your girlfriend, trust me and rely on me instead of other people? It saddens me that you rather rely on other people than me. Im waiting for a day where you can rely on me again.


*Do note this post is written base on my instinct, what is in my mind at that current time frame. Instinct can be true or untrue so yupps.

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oh wow congratulations blogger! you're back in the same shape again ._. no posting of pictures . One of my friend left me this comment after i ranted about all these internet application that got fugged up.
My friend=>""u know recently fb and google and another website dat i cnt rmb, all kenna hit by cyber attacks simultanausly. Some Denial Of Service thingy, dats y fb lagging lol"
i wonder who's the genius who launch such a powerful cyber attack!
oh well since i can't post pictures, nothing much to do here too. wanted to put up a few pictures to take part in a contest to win some gifts lol! i only wanted the freebies :X

Anyway, discovered a huge secret yesterday that hubby had a secret affair with another girl online in maple and were like lovey dovery under the watchful eyes of the public. Well what can i do? I did not expect it after like 2 years of decent relationship and oh wonderful? It's always the both of us tgt regardless if it's in an online game or real life and now there's a new online girl. Well, on your part you said that you treat online as online and real life is real life and that's all. But it's not in the past? But it do have a chain effect if you realised. Humans are funny creatures. Even if it's online, our feelings do get mixed up. you get angry at times and you can be happy when your online lover treats you good. You may say all of you live in different time zones. But i do not live with you and im not with you 24/7. I won't know what would you'll be doing either. You can say you're doing this but actually you're doing another thing. I admit im not an exception. I don't even know you're mapling and had all these friends. However i do believe in karma. I do know foreigners maybe more open and it's alright if you are close to them as friends. But is there a need to have a different online girlfriend? Calling each other baby and i<3you, i miss you etc. Seriously after seeing all that stuff i really wanted to put an end between us. i feel like puking. Very little people can withstand seeing other girls calling their boyfriend " dear, baby, honey<3 " is like what the fuck are they calling my guy like this? The answer you gave me in the morning, you wish to keep both of it, honestly, its a little disappointing even though you did emphasized im more impt. You can keep your friends but sorry i cannot accept you with another girl with another online relationship even though it's not real life. You know outstanders can see a relationship more clearly than others and im not a stupid retard who can't use my eyes and heart. you may say im petty but you can ask other girls if they mind having their bf having a extra girl.

i know you're having alot of family problems but JUST FACE IT instead of running away to the online world. you're a guy, how can you run away? Just face it dude? Running away to the online world where nobody knows you, getting to know new online friends and girlfriends, Would this solve your problem? It'll only numb your pain temporarily just like drugs. So whats the story ending of those drug addicts? sniff drugs, either die or get caught and suffer in jail. Why make yourself suffer more? There are no problems which cannot be resolve in this world. It only depends on How you face it, How you Handle it and your executing actions. If you bow to fate and let it lead you, you're a coward. Coward, you get it? There are alot of things you can do you know, like us going on a pinic, going cycling etc we havent even done this. For a family to stay together, Everyone plays a part to keep things going. You can try to choose a day when everyone's home, have a foursome talk tgt, tell them how unhappy you are and what will happen in the future. For your sister, perhaps she don't understand the seriousness of the problem yet. She is still growing up. Tell her abit by abit, about the future of the family and stuffs. There are alot of things to do. Just don't give up hope.
you're only drowning yourself in illusions now. You're only giving yourself and everyone more excuses. Do you want to ruin everything? your relationship with your family and me? You may ask why am i sticking with you for so long, because i believe the problem will always get resolve and tml may be a better day. I do not belittle our relationship and try to make it last forever because i do love you. I do believe in "forgive and forget". But there's always rules to everything.
1. I do not share my boyfriend regardless if it's online or real life. I treat both as the same.
I will not accept what happened in noobms.

2. There's a limit to my patience and feelings. Im trying to grab hold of the ropes and trying to make this relationship lasting. My hands does not clap alone. You play the other part. Once things get out of hand, and i no longer feel anything, that's it dear.

That is all im ranting for today. im off for dinner !

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Part 2 , 31 July 07 Last day of internship (:




























































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